News & Views from a Private Investigator

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Posted: February 13, 2013

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Online dating is about more than simply meeting someone \u2014 it's about marketing yourself. Without a clear, honest profile, you might be looking forever.  In honour of Valentine\u2019s Day and its impending dating anxiety, we asked experts for their top tips to help you succeed online \u2014 if not this week, at least soon.

1. Get an Outside Perspective

Be sure that your profile makes sense to others. \"One client started off her profile by talking all about her job \u2026 But this isn\u2019t LinkedIn,\" said Laurie Davis, author of Love at First Click: The Ultimate Guide to Online Dating (Atria, 2013). There are tools to help you, ranging from questionnaires to full-on profile-writing services. At the very least, ask a friend of the gender and sexual orientation you\u2019re attracted to for feedback.

2. Make Lots of Contact

Don't pin too much hope on any one person. \u201CIf you just sent one email to one person, the reply might not come for a zillion reasons that have nothing to do with you,\u201D Davis said. And according to Sam Yagan, co-founder of OkCupid and now CEO of Match.com, numbers matter. \u201CEven random dates help your chances a lot,\u201D said Yagan. However, don't go overboard. \u201CIf you\u2019re writing 30 people \u2026 you\u2019re expecting failure and precipitating failure,\u201D said dating coach Evan Marc Katz.

3. Be Honest

Sorry, you don't look 10 years younger than you are, so don't fib about your age. The same goes for height. And while few sites ask users to include their weight, optical-illusion photos won't serve you in the long run. Be honest about your interests, too. If you\u2019re a bookish urbanite, don\u2019t post a bunch of pictures from your one whitewater-rafting trip. \u201CYou want your potential match to fall in love with the real you, not the fabricated you,\u201D said Maria Seredina, founder of the eAmore conference for the online dating industry.

4. Take Standout Photos

You are being judged more harshly on your online image than you would be in person. Davis advises her clients to wear a color that will stand out when people are scanning profiles. Yagan recommends regularly updating pictures, too.

5. Go Outside Your Comfort Zone

Broadening your search criteria has no downside. Katz met his wife offline, where there are not pre-set filters. \"I never would have met my wife online.\" Because of her age, religion, and even where she lived, she would not have popped up in his narrow searches, he said. The lesson he learned: Cast a wider net online.

6. Get to the Point

\"You want it to take under two minutes to view photos and read your profile,\" Davis advised. She said that breaks down to two paragraphs about you, one paragraph about what you\u2019re looking for and four to seven photos.

7. Remember What You Want

Focus on what will work for you. For example, if you\u2019re not in search of a long-term relationship, do not pursue someone who is. You'll hurt people's feelings and waste everyone's time.

8. Tell a Story

All our experts agreed: The best way to set your profile apart is to tell a story. A bunch of adjectives coupled with a list of activities is not distinctive. \u201CYou could take a 70-year-old woman and a 30-year-old guy and they could sound the same,\u201D said Katz. Rather than say you like to ski, mention the time you had to be airlifted out of a storm by a helicopter.

 

If your online dating experience is not what it should be maybe you need some professional help.  Precise Investigation has private detectives and investigators in every state of Australia.  Whether you are in Melbourne or Sydney or Brisbane or Perth or Adelaide we can conduct discrete, affordable surveillance for piece of mind.  Please call us today if you need us.  Best of luck with your relationships.

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8 Tips For Online Dating:

As with most article or content-based material online, finding your soul mate over the Internet is about more than just meeting the right person; it’s about marketing yourself. By creating a profile that isn’t as true as it should be, you could easily find yourself looking forever.

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, we asked a few experts for their top tips on successful online dating and we hope that, if not this week, at least sometime soon you’ll be able to make the results stick.

1) Be Honest And Upfront

Nothing’s worse, in the realms of online dating, than when you discover a person that you’re genuinely interested in, only to meet them in person a few days later to realise that they are not how they portrayed themselves online. Not only is it hurtful to both of you, you because you were lied to, and the liar because now they’re still alone, but it’s also a waste of time and money. Just be upfront about who you are because, at the end of the day, if you bend the truth or upload photos that don’t describe who you really are, then anyone who could potentially love the real you, will never find you and you’ll only attract people that you don’t even like.

Maria Seredina, founder of the eAmore conference, said, “You want your potential match to fall in love with the real you, not the fabricated you.”

2) Get Some Feedback First

Whether you want to invest in some professional help, or just the counsel of your closest friends, have someone look over your profile before you post it. That way you’ll know if it does you justice. We don’t recommend giving money to organisations that claim to be able to make your profile work for you because, ultimately, the human mind and soul are very complex things and only the people who really know you could possibly describe you as you are. A company that has never even met you is sure to sell you on what they know works for them, not necessarily for you.

3) Don’t Let Silence Destroy You

If you’re sending lots of requests out to people and you’re not receiving anything in return, don’t give up. Hundreds upon thousands of people, just like you, experience the same thing. Of course it doesn’t help when you’re out at lunch with your friends and they all gloat about how many matches they’ve had since last night… but you’re not them. Consider the fact that your perfect match is wading through the exact same bunch of profiles to find you, and imagine they gave up – if we all gave up because things weren’t easy, we’d never get anywhere.

4) Take Honest But Awesome Photos

People are naturally drawn to aesthetically pleasing things, so if your photos look pretty cool on their own, people will be more likely to explore your profile a little further. Laurie Davis, author of Love at First Click, advises her clients to wear vibrant and unusual colours in their photos so that they stand out from the crowd.

5) Cast Your Net Wider

If you’re too specific in your search or targeting criteria, then you may well be fishing in the wrong pond! There are plenty of cases where couples have met online (and married!) as a result of removing or deactivating their filters altogether. What if your potential wife or husband lives 35km away from your house but you’ve set your filter to 10km? That’s not going to do you any favours, now is it?

6) Be Clear

Laurie Davis says, “You want it to take under two minutes to view photos and read your profile.” She advises that you create two short paragraphs about you and who you are, one paragraph about what you’re looking for and up to seven photos, max.

7) Stick To What You Want

Don’t compromise for the sake of ease; that can lead to heap of other problems that we won’t go into here, but seriously, take your time about these things. Focus on what you really want and try to find others with similar interests. If you’re looking for a long-term relationship but keep trying to contact people who aren’t, then you’re just likely to get hurt.

Focus on what will work for you. For example, if you’re not in search of a long-term relationship, do not pursue someone who is. You'll hurt people's feelings and waste everyone's time.

8) Tell a Tale

In those first two paragraphs we mentioned earlier, try not to “bullet-point” yourself. Expand on your descriptions or even tell a story. It’s far more interesting for people when they read about how you broke your finger snorkelling, than if you simply said you like snorkelling. Don’t be afraid to give a little bit more. It will pay off in the long run.

Online dating can be fun, but it’s also important to know that there are some people out there who don’t see it as a game and their intentions are far more sinister. If you think something odd is going on with someone that you’ve met online, Precise Investigations can help. With detectives based in every major Australian city including, Melbourne, Perth, Sydney, Adelaide, Canberra, Hobart and Brisbane, we’re right on your doorstep.

Call Precise Investigation today on 1300 856 011 for a professional, Private Investigation Service

 

Image credit: Thank you Juliana Coutinho from flickr

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